Should you ever use "shaming" tactics to motivate children to give it up?
PSYCH Use encouragement rather than punishment or humiliation to motivate. Praise the child for giving up the pacifier and/or set up a system that rewards big-boy behavior. Involve the child in the decision by giving him the choice of either throwing it away or putting it away.
Are there specific strategies for weaning children 1 to 2 years old?
DOC Start by limiting the use of pacifiers to the bed and car only. Then, as soon as you can, stop pacifier use in the car. To begin the weaning process at bedtime, I have parents put the pacifier next to their child, saying, "Here's your pacifier if you want it." Most children will grab the pacifier and pop it in their mouths, smirking as if they have just outsmarted their parents. Once the child has fallen asleep, parents should remove the pacifier from the child's mouth. This allows a child to use a pacifier to fall asleep, but the total sucking time (not to mention emotional dependency and dental damage) gets limited. After a month or two, parents will find their kids will stop asking for a pacifier at all. As children get older, they may begin to ask for the pacifier only during the day. If so, parents should offer children the bed as a place to "visit" the pacifier. That way, a parent doesn't have to flatly refuse to give the pacifier during the day, but at the same time its use gets relegated to the bed only.
What about for children 2 to 3 years old?
DOC Once kids are becoming verbal, negotiations begin in earnest. The easiest way to wean this age group is to cut one millimeter off the tip of every pacifier in the house. When a child discovers the "broken" pacifier, do not replace it. Instead, simply explain that it's broken. Most toddlers will decide on their own that they no longer want the pacifier. If not, continue to cut down each pacifier by one millimeter every few days until all that is left are stumps.
And for 3 years and older?
DOC At this age, I suggest involving your child in the choice to give up pacifiers. Explain to him that he is starting to hurt his teeth. The following are two good options: Pick a day to get rid of it (or all of them, if you still keep multiples around). On that day, ceremoniously put the pacifiers in a bag and take them to the Dumpster to say goodbye. Or wrap up the pacifiers and tell your child that they need to be given to "a baby who needs them," i.e., a newborn he knows. Big kids don't need them.
Why is it so hard for parents to stick to the withdrawal plan?
PSYCH Keep in mind it's the parents who aren't ready for the child to give up the pacifier; it's pretty handy when he cries or complains. Parents should ask themselves who they honestly think is getting more satisfaction out of the pacifier, the child or themselves.
An Important Note: According to a statement issued in October 2005 by the American Academy of Pediatrics regarding the prevention of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS), research now indicates an association between pacifier use and a reduced risk of SIDS. While no clear-cut reason has emerged (one theory posits that sucking on a pacifier forces the airway to stay open), pacifier use is now recommended at nap time and bedtime throughout the first year of life. For more information, visit aap.org.
