What lifestyle and environmental factors contribute to picky eating?
DOC A child's food choices are informed by what's available to him. If the pantry is stocked with junk, he will learn early on that this is what he's supposed to eat. Kids also model their parents' habits, so if you tell your child to eat fruits and vegetables but you eat fast food and drink soda, he'll figure out that the rules are different for him and eventually rebel.
PSYCH Having a television on during meals distracts parents and children alike. Engaging solely in adult conversation with your spouse or other grown-ups rather than focusing on your child can be an issue too, as a fair amount of picky eating is caused by kids' seeking their parents' attention. If you smile and ask your child questions while he's eating, he will learn that mealtime is fun.
Meals at restaurants or friends' homes seem to trigger picky eating in some kids. Why? And what's the best way to handle that?
DOC At home it's easier to enforce the rules. If your child throws food or demands to leave the table, you can end the meal. You can be clear about what's acceptable without worrying about what your friends or the people at the next table are thinking. But at a friend's house or a restaurant, it's harder. People are watching; you want it to be easy. When your family is at a restaurant, try not to let your child run around. If he's allowed to misbehave in public, he learns that bad behavior is acceptable; unsuccessful eating in restaurants is soon to follow. So if he's unable to sit still even for several minutes, it's probably best to stop going out until it's clear that sitting at the table is expected and mandatory. At a friend's house, don't be shy about reminding your child about his mealtime rules.
What about the opposite scenario: better eating habits away from home?
DOC Some kids relish the structured atmosphere of a restaurant or the novelty of a different setting (where, they may observe, their parents are more relaxed). If your child falls into this category, try to re-create the restaurant experience at home. I'm not suggesting having him order off a menu, but I do think it can be helpful for everyone to sit down together and take the time to talk to one another.
How can parents successfully introduce new foods?
DOC Encourage your child to try them, and praise him when he does. Have him take as many bites as his age in years, usually an achievable and fun goal. And try a weekly "experiment" night. It's also critical to teach your child about nutrition. When kids understand that calcium builds bones and protein affects muscle mass, they begin to understand why you push certain foods and limit others.
PSYCH Many tastes are acquired; your child may eventually come to like a food he initially refuses. In fact, research shows that he may need to see other people eating a new food 10 times before he's even willing to try it, and then taste the food another 10 times before he develops a liking for it. So don't rush the process. Simply serve the food repeatedly, ask your child to taste it, then trust him when he says he has. It also helps to create a set eating schedule: Three meals and two snacks, and no other foods or liquids (except water) in between. Your child can't be hungry at mealtime if he's eating and drinking constantly.
What tactics should be avoided?
PSYCH Punishment for not eating is counterproductive, as is pushing your child to eat something he doesn't want. These strategies can make your child dislike certain foods even more over time, especially if he's strong-willed. In addition, forcing your child can make him feel nauseous, which can create or increase food anxieties. So can extending mealtimes by making him sit at the table after the rest of the family is done.
How much control should you give your child in terms of when, what, and how much he eats?
DOC I'm a believer in strictly limiting your child's control over food while making him think he has total control. If he refuses his dinner and convinces you to make a peanut-butter sandwich instead, he has too much control. Instead, offer him a small range of choices at dinner (some protein, a vegetable, a starch, and so on) and tell him he can have more of whatever he likes when he has eaten some of everything. You've taken charge, but you've also given him the power to choose.
How can you tell if your picky eater is in danger of being malnourished or having an eating disorder?
PSYCH When eating problems are developing, your child will gradually reduce the variety of foods he'll accept or make a big fuss when you try to feed him something he's refused before. If you find yourself feeding him a very small number of foods, chances are you're seeing the early signs of an eating problem. Call your pediatrician right away; if she doesn't respond to your concerns, get a new doctor.
DOC Early intervention is always best, because short-lived habits are easier to break. Even if your child has been picky for years, though, it's never too late to try to improve the situation. The key is to make a total family change. Everyone should focus together on healthy, balanced nutrition.
