It's the decision moms have been grappling with for decades: "Do I compromise everything I learned in my Gender Studies 397 class to make my daughter happy, or do I stick to my principles and risk years and years of resentment?" Barbie has held little girls in the palm of her dainty plastic hand for 50 years now—and it's clear she won't be going away anytime soon. (She's now on Facebook and just had her first New York Fashion Week runway show.) We asked a few thoughtful moms where they stand on the great doll debate.
Ayelet Waldman
Author of Bad Mother (Random House)
"I followed my mom's feminist scripture until my daughter Sophie was around 4. A friend pointed out that if I denied her what she wanted, then what was I saying about her desire? So my rule was 'You can do whatever you want to Barbie. You can set her on fire; you can cut her hair.' Barbies in our house always ended up looking like Phyllis Diller, but with a better body."
Samantha Bee
Author of Bad Mother (Random House)
"My family thought my love of my Barbies was fanciful and adorable.... I tried to explain that I was not talking to them, I was talking for them, and what they were saying was sexually adventurous, to say the least. My daughter has a few that she dearly loves. They all seem to dress like Atlantic City trannies these days. I went to buy them some tasteful slacks and returned empty-handed. Now they all wear long homemade togas." Read more about Bee's parenting method.
Katie Roiphe
Author of Uncommon Arrangements (Random House)
"When I was 5, my grandfather gave us a Barbie Beauty Palace. We adored it and played with it all day. The next morning, we woke up and our mother [feminist Anne Roiphe] said, 'It was lost.' So I view my fleeting experience with Barbie with great wistfulness and nostalgia. That said, I wouldn't be thrilled if my daughter, now that age, played with Barbies."
Judith Warner
Author of Perfect Madness: Motherhood in the Age of Anxiety (Riverhead)
"I've had no policy whatsoever with my daughters. Barbies are so cheap now—you can buy a lot for nothing and look like a hero." Check out Warner's reading suggestions for every mom.
