As a girl, Tori Spelling traveled in a luxury railroad car attached to an Amtrak for a family vacation. (Her dad, TV producer Aaron Spelling, was afraid to fly.) One Halloween, Dynasty costume designer Nolan Miller made her an elaborate Marie Antoinette getup. And through it all—underneath the white sausage-roll wig—she craved a normal childhood. Of course, now 36, with her own 2-year-old son, Liam, and 1-year-old daughter, Stella, Spelling admits "there are a lot of variables to normal, especially in Hollywood," which is what inspired her to write her second memoir, Mommywood (Simon Spotlight Entertainment). Admittedly, her kids have uniquely showbiz-y lives, and not simply because Mom and Dad—actor Dean McDermott—have been paparazzi bait since 2005, when they ended their previous marriages to be together. Their house is rigged for filming Oxygen's Tori & Dean: Home Sweet Hollywood. And sometimes Spelling, who also designs a kids' clothing line, simply can't help herself and replicates a few fairy-tale aspects of her own girlhood. Cookie went poolside to get the details.
Cookie magazine | During your larger-than-life Beverly Hills childhood, your dad had snow trucked in for Christmas. And you recently did something similar for your kids?
Tori Spelling | We rented a snow machine. As much as I wanted to be normal, as I look back, those big gestures were pretty amazing. So we hosted an event for the Ronald McDonald House Charities and had real snow in our yard. It was very wink-wink-nudge-nudge about my white Christmas when I was a kid. I had this vision of it being sunny Los Angeles with sledding, but it was rainy and muddy, and we had to put up a tent. The kids didn't care, though. Liam was hesitant, but we got him on a sled a few times.
CM | In your book, you describe Liam as a daddy's boy. Is that still the case?
TS | Well, it turns out that Stella is a total mama's girl. My biggest fear in life was having a girl—how was I going to handle a girl [considering my relationship with my mother]? But for all my fears, without my even trying, Stella wants her mama. When she is in Dean's arms, she lunges for me the way Liam did for him.
CM | How did you become such a homebody and party hostess?
TS | I think the way I rebelled was by deciding to do things for myself. When I moved into my first apartment, I was superexcited to do my own cleaning.
CM | Are there things that you don't let the Tori & Dean crew tape?
TS | We're honest, but we're selective. They did film me coming home from the hospital four days after a C-section, when I was not looking my best. But I've come to the conclusion that on my show, I can look like a real person—even if the weeklies expect celebrities to look perfect when they go to the market. The film crew isn't here all the time, either, because I want the kids to know life without cameras. That said, two of the cameramen and the sound guy are like uncles to them.
CM | It seems like you've made a very nontraditional extended family for yourself.
TS | People assume celebrities have other celebrity friends, but I don't really. I made some amazing friends when I was 15, and they are truly my family now. Maybe I didn't get dealt the cards for a close family, but those old friends—Mehran and Jenny and the "gay uncles," or "guncles," Scout and Bill—have proven to me that they are my family.
CM | You were also very close to your nanny until her death when you were in your early 30s. Did that make hiring a nanny for your own kids less fraught?
TS | I never understood being competitive with a nanny. If you have someone you trust and who loves your kids, then what an amazing thing you've done for them. My kids have Patsy, who is a baby nurse to them and like a mother figure to me. Stella was an unplanned pregnancy, and I think it happened so I could keep Patsy longer. I am very sad Nanny and my dad never got to meet my kids. I have this little bear that was Nanny's, and I always bring it when I fly. I recently showed it to Liam and explained that the bear is like a grandparent who looks out for us. He grabbed it and kissed it.
CM | Considering the Spelling family business, do you let your kids watch TV?
TS | TV is basically my life, so to be the mom who says, "My kids will never watch," would be totally hypocritical. We try to strike a balance; it's a work in progress.
CM | What's your favorite family ritual these days?
TS | Family dinner is huge on my list. I feel like it's good to start it now. When Liam and Stella are eating in their high chairs, Dean and I try to eat something, so we're all sitting down together. I see this continuing the rest of their lives. When they're all grown up and out of the house, maybe once a week they'll come home for family dinner.
CM | What's one of the weirder parts of being pregnant in Hollywood?
TS | During both pregnancies, people touched my belly a lot. I would never do that to a pregnant woman—it's a personal thing. And if I did, I'd say, "Your belly is so cute, can I touch it?" But when fans did it, I couldn't say, "Please don't touch," because then it would be, "What a bitch!" At a certain point, I just decided that [my second baby] Stella was getting a lot of love in there.
CM | How much does it suck to have to lose baby weight in Hollywood?
TS | Well, after I'd given birth to Stella, some woman at the market grabbed my belly and asked when I was due. When she had the flab in her hand, she realized her mistake. And the first time I went out after I had Liam, the paparazzi were around and I remember trying to hold my stomach in, even though my muscles were shot to hell, because it's not like they want the story, "Look at the happy couple, they just had a baby!" They want, "Do you see her stomach? We thought she already had the baby." But I always say the weeklies build you up to tear you down. It's a funny cycle. The week before they were asking, "Is she too thin?" they showed a picture of me in a bikini on the beach and said I looked great.
