Q: What about your children makes you laugh?
A: It makes me laugh when Oscar tries on my high heels and walks around saying, "Shoes!" And when Anna shows us the right position in which to meditate. And also when Wyatt rolls down hills and leaps up smiling—or makes skateboards out of cardboard and does magnificent stunts off of our living-room furniture.
Q: What is your favorite family ritual?
A: We try to have dinner with just the five of us at home at least a few times a week, and sometimes we do a tag-team story: One person starts, and the next picks up where it is left off. It leads to a lot of laughs. We also do church on Sunday, but if we cannot make it to an official church, we do "family church" in the living room or underneath a tree.
Q: What was your most frazzled mom moment?
A: There are so many! I distinctly remember reaching into my purse for a pen in a corporate conference room and pulling out a pacifier. The awkwardness of breast-pumping in the midst of trying to prove my worthiness as a lawyer led to many such moments, like trying to disguise that ominous humming underneath sweaters while huddled in the bathroom, and bringing the pump back to the office in what looked liked a lunchbox. Also, once when Anna was on my lap while I was talking to my publisher, she poured her sippy cup of apple juice onto my laptop. Oh, and one time, when I was flying to Nashville with both Wyatt and Anna, as I was making sure we had the right baggage and identification, they ran through security the wrong way, and I couldn't get through to stop them. They were wrestling each other on the other side as I frantically talked to the security guard (while taking off my shoes and getting out my ID). That one took years off of my life, I think.
Q: What parenting issue do you and your partner disagree most about?
A: We used to disagree about TV, but I won that one—now we have basically eradicated it, although the kids do watch DVDs on weekends and for travel. We used to also argue about immunizations and other conventional medicinal treatments, and my husband won that one. He is a doctor, so it is his department—but he also convinced me based on the evidence.
Q: What is your parenting role: good cop or bad cop?
A: I am probably mostly bad cop. No TV, minimal sugar, etc. Whereas my husband will sometimes take them for chocolate doughnuts in the morning and has fond memories of Saturday cartoons. But we work together a lot—it's an ongoing conversation, and as the kids get older, you have to be careful not to have it in front of them!
Q: What do you wake up in the middle of the night thinking about?
A: Usually people I care about, mostly my family. I worry a lot about safety and sometimes find myself musing over little details. Cars feature prominently in my dreams, perhaps because they are so much a (menacing) part of the landscape of Manhattan, where I now live.
Q: What do you wish you had done before you had children?
A: Slept in! Actually, I wish I'd traveled a bit more, including [things like] trekking through Nepal and living on some kind of marine-biology station in the Red Sea or wherever. There are lots of vacations you can take young kids on (we had a wonderful trip to Turkey with all three last summer), but there are also those life experiences you just can't have if you want to be with them every day.
Q: What is a typical Saturday morning in your house like?
A: It's a little easier than a weekday morning, because there isn't the deadline to get to school. Usually my husband and I trade off Saturday and Sunday mornings, in terms of who gets up first to start breakfast, deal with the dog, change diapers, etc. But then we have a very long newspaper-and-buttered-toast-type time, while occasionally chasing the baby around the corner so he doesn't careen down the stairs.
Q: What was your mom most right about?
A: In her advice to take lots of photographs, save the cutest drawings, write down the funny things they say, and try to find time to take care of yourself, because that will be the most positive thing for your children in the long run.
WHAT'S YOUR...
...guiltiest pleasure?
Well, I like dark chocolate quite a bit. And Latin American soap operas.
...ideal getaway?
Somewhere where I can swim a long way.
...favorite clothing item?
A tailored but comfortable dress my sister-in-law just got me. She is a much better shopper than I am.
...current reading material?
The Commoner by John Burnham Schwartz is a wonderful novel about an empress of Japan. It always impresses me when a man can write so well in the voice of a woman.
WHAT'S YOUR PREFERENCE:
Chocolate or cheese?
Both are so good. I suppose chocolate.
Eat at home or takeout?
Cook at home, although I make a huge mess and it takes a while.
Coddle your tot or let him cry it out?
Coddling.
