Some dads claim that parenthood has actually improved their sex lives. Such was the case for Patrick, 28, an entrepreneur in Los Angeles, whose wife was a virgin when they got married. "When we were dating, I thought she'd be crazy in bed because she was spunky and flirtatious," says Patrick. But almost from the beginning, there were problems. Self-conscious about her body and unable to have an orgasm, Patrick's wife began to withdraw. After an eight-month dry spell, Patrick told her he wanted a separation. "It literally drove me crazy to be sleeping next to someone I couldn't touch," he says.
With the help of therapists, the couple decided to give the marriage another go—and to schedule sex twice a week so Patrick wouldn't become resentful. When his wife got pregnant, Patrick feared they would backtrack. But, in fact, giving birth liberated his wife.
"At the birth, I saw her at her most vulnerable," he says. "I saw her throwing up in labor; I saw her curled over in excruciating pain. I saw her gain a lot of weight. I think she figures I've seen it all. Before, when we had sex, the lights had to be off. Sex used to be sterile, and now she's like, 'Here I am!'"
How happy is dad with his sex life?
In an online poll sponsored by AOL and Cookie, 82 percent of fathers said their level of attraction to their wives is the same as or greater than it was before kids. But that doesn't mean their wives are responding.
51 percent
say they have sex at least once a week.
25 percent
say they have sex fewer than 12 times a year.
79 percent
would like to have more sex than they do.
62 percent
say they are the ones who usually initiate sex.
40 percent
say their wives reject their advances at least once a week.
54 percent
have thought about having an affair since becoming a father.
32 percent
have had affairs.
60 percent
view online pornography at least a few times a month.
