When East Lansing, Michigan, father Kevin Epling complained about his eighth-grade son being bullied by upperclassmen, police chalked it up to kids being kids. When Pasco, Washington, mom Brenda High lobbied legislators in her state to pass antibullying legislation, she was surprised at how many blew her off. Bullying, they shrugged, was just part of growing up.
No longer. For the first time, the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) is weighing in on the subject in its official policy on the pediatrician's role in preventing youth violence. This month, the journal Pediatrics calls upon schools to implement comprehensive antibullying programs. In an updated version of the pediatric group's policy statement, the article's authors note that the American Medical Association and the Society for Adolescent Medicine have beaten the AAP to the punch, having already called highlighted the issue of youth bullying. The feds, too, have played a role, raising awareness with a campaign called Take a Stand, Lend a Hand: Stop Bullying Now.
In 1998, researchers at the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development scrutinized data to determine the prevalence of bullying. They found that 30 percent of nearly 16,000 6th- to 10th-graders has either bullied other kids or been on the receiving end of such behavior. Furthermore, studies show that bullies are more likely to cut class or drop out of school and are more prone to smoke, drink, and get involved in fights. Meanwhile, fear of being bullied prompts up to 160,000 students to stay home each day, according to the National Association of School Psychologists. Being bullied can dash a child's self-confidence and trigger depression; it has caused enough children to end their lives that a term has been coined: bullycide.
"Bullying strikes a nerve in parents," says Marlene Snyder, national director of development for the Olweus bullying-prevention program (named for Dan Olweus, a professor at the University of Bergen in Norway), which is cited in the AAP's policy statement. "As parents we build up our kids, and we don't hand them over to a school system where kids are going to tear them down."
Real Dangers
Bullying, by definition, is a lot more than just bad behavior. It involves intentionally hurting or frightening someone weaker—in fact, experts call it peer abuse. While girls are more likely to bully by excluding or spreading rumors about another girl, boys are often more physical. The aggression doesn't just happen face to face; cyber-bullying notoriously led to the death in 2006 of Megan Meier, a 13-year-old girl from Missouri who carried on an online relationship with a boy who turned out to be a fabrication by the mother of one of Megan's former friends.
In a recent essay in The New York Times, New York City pediatrician Perri Klass mused about what the new AAP emphasis on bullying would mean to her profession: "So what should I ask at a checkup? 'How's school?' 'Who are your friends?' 'What do you usually do at recess?' It's important to open the door, especially with children in the most likely age groups, so that victims and bystanders won't be afraid to speak up. Parents of these children need to be encouraged to demand that schools take action, and pediatricians probably need to be ready to talk to the principal. We need to follow up with the children to make sure the situation gets better, and to check on their emotional health and get them help if they need it."
Now in his 70s, Olweus is considered the godfather of antibullying programs. His is the only antibullying curriculum that's been proven to work on a large scale—more than 3,000 U.S. schools use the $8,000 program—and most other bullying-prevention programs bear its imprint. The Olweus approach is based on the "bullying circle"; i.e., the entire cast of characters involved in a bullying incident. Rather than focusing on the victim and perpetrator, Olweus introduces a third party: the bystanders.
"It's important to have kids take responsibility for each other," says Robert Sege, a coauthor of the AAP statement and chief of ambulatory pediatrics at Boston Medical Center. Ken Shore, a school psychologist who wrote the book The ABC's of Bullying Prevention (Dude Publishing), concurs. He notes that when other kids intervene, bullying tends to stop within 10 seconds. So involving bystanders makes sense: "The kids who are watching experience a lot of fear they're going to be the next victims," says Shore. "Bystanders often hold the key."
Taking Action
It's only recently that the U.S. has echoed Europe's decades-long concern with bullying. That's part of our problem, says Joseph Wright, Sege's coauthor and chairman of the AAP'S committee on violence prevention. "We're playing catch-up here in the United States." That said, more than 35 states have taken an official stand on bullying, passing laws that reaffirm a child's right to stay safe. Brenda High launched the organization Bully Police USA to track new legislation after her 13-year-old son responded to repeated bullying by fatally shooting himself in 1998. "Legislation should be the foundation of everything, but antibullying programs are what back it up," says High, who filed a wrongful death lawsuit against the Pasco, Washington, school district, which eventually settled the case. "You can have all the traffic laws on the face of the earth, but if no one believes in them, and no one is enforcing them, you've got a problem."
High's codirector at Bully Police USA is Kevin Epling, whose son, Matthew, was assaulted by upperclassmen "welcoming" him to high school on his last day of eighth grade. Police didn't seem overly concerned, but Matthew's parents asked to speak with them further about the incident. The night before they were supposed to meet with police in July 2002, Matthew committed suicide. His parents embarked on a mission to bring together law enforcement, school administrators, community members, and students to talk about school violence. As a result, the East Lansing, Michigan, schools now incorporate an antibullying statement in the student handbook and have established behavior rules.
In Winston-Salem, North Carolina, Alacia Wright's daughter, Elizabeth, switched schools after being bullied by other second-grade girls resulted in her losing 12 pounds from stomach ulcers, an experience chronicled in the book Letters to a Bullied Girl (HarperCollins). Wright spearheaded an antibullying T-shirt-design contest at her daughter's new school, brought in speakers, and helped facilitate counselor-led student workshops. One of the speakers, Elizabeth Bennett, a certified Olweus trainer, likened the impact of bullying to a divorce. "It's traumatizing and leaves scars that follow into adulthood if not taken care of early on," Bennett wrote in an e-mail to Wright.
The programs appear to be working. At Summit View School, a Los Angeles private school for students in grades 1 through 12 with learning disabilities and ADHD, administrators use Second Step and Steps to Respect, which emphasize the role of the bystander and the community. At a recent program, says Erica Curtis, director of counseling, a senior spoke about witnessing a student at her former school being harassed. She shared with the group how she didn't say anything, didn't do anything. Last fall, she learned he'd killed himself. "From now on," the senior pledged to the middle-schoolers she was addressing, "I will stand up."
IF YOUR KID IS BEING BULLIED:
Ideally, your child's school has a bullying-prevention protocol in place, which will dictate whom to approach first. Some schools funnel complaints first to the guidance counselor; others, to the teacher or principal.
If your child's school has no formal program, speak first with the appropriate teacher. If the situation remains unresolved, head to the principal's office.
WHAT WORKS:
According to Sege, tackling bullying in schools works. "It's a good place to intervene because it's where kids set up their social structure," he says. "An effective bullying-prevention program works with bystanders to change the school culture."
Other effective methods include establishing school rules and acknowledging that bullying affects and involves everyone.
WHAT DOESN'T:
Putting the onus on the child to work it out doesn't work; it's the responsibility of adults to intervene. It's a bad idea to advise bullied kids to turn the other cheek or just walk away; would you give that advice to a victim of physical or sexual abuse? "It's a tall order to ask a young child to confront someone who may be bullying him," says Wright. "That's why it's important to activate the bystanders."
Holding one-time school assemblies "is not effective," says Snyder. "You hear a speaker for an hour, sign a banner that says Don't Bully, and then what? You need the system to change."
ONLINE RESOURCES:
Stop Bullying Now
Olweus
Committee for Children
U.S. Department of Education
