Well, readers, lest you think I’m all talk and no action, I’ll have you know that I’m big with child. Enormous! Luckily, this hasn’t had much effect on my libido or, more crucially in this professional context, my ability to write about our collective libidinal issues. Still, there comes a point when the giant hump of baby begins to take on its own inertia. I regret that even the best sexual intentions can’t quite re-create a full range of agile pre-pregnancy hijinks.
But no despair! Rather, it’s time to return—purely for your amusement and edification, of course—to the Secret Strategies of Sexy Moms. So let’s add “Use Assistance When Necessary” to our first two habits, “Cultivate Your Hotness” and “Change Your Context.” (You haven’t forgotten, have you?) Assistance is certainly helpful when you’re expecting—clever architecture with pillows can work wonders at supporting the pregnant bulk, for instance. There are equally effective fixes for most sexual complications, postpartum and beyond. The trick is identifying the right solution for your predicament, then getting over the awkwardness of using it. And welcome to our question:
Q It’s been three months since I had a baby, but sex is difficult because I’m so dry down there. What’s going on?
A The good people at the Mayo Clinic say reduced estrogen levels after pregnancy and during breast-feeding can lead to a significant decline in vajayjay wetness. (I paraphrase.) If you’re looking for a discreet solution, over-the-counter vaginal moisturizers like Replens promise to solve dryness problems for hours or even days at a time—no need to apply directly before sex.
The more direct remedy is to squirt some goo up in there. Water-based lubricants like K-Y and Astroglide are inexpensive and easy to come by, and wash away in a jiffy after sex. On the other hand, they do dry out quickly and get sticky, plus those containing glycerin are rumored to cause yeast infections. Look for a glycerin-free formula, such as Sliquid, if you’re prone to the Unforgettable Fire.
Silicone lubricants (Eros, Wet Platinum) are virtually indestructible, are unlikely to cause irritation, and stay slippery even in the shower or bath. They don’t taste great, though, and their staying power means you should keep them far from the Frette—they’re hard to get off your body and your sheets.
I admit that there can be something of an ick factor associated with lubricants. And I do feel your hesitation at trying to convince the husband said marital aid is fun and sexy—but then again, didn’t he keep a vat of Vaseline by his bed when he was a lonely bachelor? So don’t underestimate lube’s liberating function, for both of you. Getting slippery means you can avoid discomfort, last longer, and get going quicker (which may be more to the point after childbirth). Plus, it opens up certain back roads for exploration. A tour of that terrain is my nominee for most underutilized postpartum strategy: Give the vagina some time off while bringing the kink back into the baby-devastated sexual landscape.
