Chez Young, we enjoy robust good looks and an egalitarian marriage based on eternal devotion and the fair division of household labor. It's the same in your household, I'm sure. Still, in even the rosiest of relationships, the campaign for equality between the sexes is ongoing, and the bedroom is no exception.
The balance of sexual satisfaction—who's getting it, who's giving it—is a telling indicator. And given the labor-intensive female orgasm and the all-too-reliable male version, I suspect that many couples' gratification scale tilts in the gentleman's direction. A sorry state of affairs!
I'm beginning to think the quest for simultaneous delight is part of the problem—we're guilty of sexual multitasking, when individual focus might be more satisfying. We are grown-ups, after all; we should know how to take turns. Tricky, that. We're all for receiving the one-sided lovemaking, but how about providing it? Alas, we've arrived at our question.
Q: I hate giving blow jobs, but I've never told my husband. Should I tell him or just keep trying to dodge his requests?
A: If you're adamantly anti-fellatio, by all means tell him it's off the menu permanently. You shouldn't find any part of your sex life detestable. In fairness, though, you would also have to relinquish any expectation of receiving oral pleasure yourself. (Nice as he is, your man is not a saint.)
But before you ban kissing below the belt, let's examine the source of your revulsion. Is it a hygiene thing? Just too nasty to go licking around down there, where the ladscape gets urinary and hairy? Try relocating to the shower, where the manly topography can be made pleasantly fresh—plus, you're conveniently located for a quick spit and rinse. Also, if you're scrupulous about your own depilatory habits, you could suggest that Monsieur groom down below.
Perhaps it's the awkwardness of the mouth-manhood interface? While kneeling at his feet has a certain kinky allure, it's generally easier if your fellow is flat on his back. That way you can approach the business with as much depth as you find comfortable and change angles when you get fatigued. Remember, this is lovemaking, not porn—the goal is maximum sensation, not dramatic deep-throat action.
Is it possible you have issues with the power dynamic? Admittedly, nothing says "sexual subjugation" quite so thoroughly as blow-job provision. If you feel like you're being used, either embrace it or subvert it. For the former, consider a bit of role play: Perhaps you're a harem girl? Or a very dedicated nurse? Upending the dynamic is even simpler. You are, after all, the one actually in control of the situation, and your man is utterly focused on your every movement—in fact, you're never likely to get so much of your husband's undivided attention and appreciation. Enjoy it.
