1. Have Sex at Least Once a Week

You may have noticed that wild passion doesn't strike quite so frequently since the kids arrived. No surprise, really, since time with your partner so often revolves around life management: Who's going to take the car in? When did the baby last get new pants? Where is the jam? Although these kinds of interactions are unavoidable, they also kill romance.

The solution is sex. Making love is the best way to get back to the mental and emotional core of your relationship, the intense intimacy that's the actual point of being together. And you need to have sex frequently enough that you build up intimacy reserves—enough to carry you through long days of work and errands. Once a week at a minimum, twice is better, three times earns a gold star.

2. Don't Wait for the Perfect Moment

So how's all this frequent lovemaking supposed to happen? Adopt a new strategy for sex—one that doesn't rely on spontaneous desire (genuine horniness may appear too infrequently to do you any good). Decide to have sex even when you're not "in the mood." Once you get over that first hump of reluctance, you'll be pleasantly surprised at how easy it is to have a good time. And, like most things, sex gets easier with practice. You may have fallen out of the habit, but once bedtime begins to involve more than tooth brushing, a bit of action between the sheets can quickly become your favorite routine.

3. Cultivate Your Hotness

Admittedly, it will be easier to reinvigorate the love life if you do feel in the mood more often, and that's best achieved by cultivating your sexiness. This is not a reminder to go to the gym—oh, no. Rather, do what's easy and decadent and makes your body feel good: Manicuring and pedicuring, nice lotions, and fresh lacy panties. You can also indulge in the cost-free pleasures offered by your own body—there's masturbation, taking a warm, nice bath, even just pausing to admire your attractive bits. Please take whatever steps are required to avoid feeling like a neutered matron in mom jeans.

4. Use Assistance as Necessary

Or maybe the spirit is willing, but the flesh just isn't cooperating? It isn't uncommon for hormonal changes after pregnancy to cause vaginal dryness and a lowered libido. There are effective fixes for most sexual complications, however. A vibrator can assist with that elusive orgasm, and additional lubrication can help you get going quicker and make sex last longer. Sure, there's an embarrassment factor associated with buying and using marital aids; on the other hand, the gentlemen usually enjoy wielding battery-operated gadgets, and what's not to like about squirting goo here and there?

5. Change Your Context

Finally, even the best lovemaking can get dulled through repetition. If you and the man are stuck in a sex rut, change it up a little. It may be enough to move to an unusual locale—the kitchen, a swanky hotel room, perhaps Paris. But physical location isn't as important as clearing a mental space for the two of you to be together in a sexy way. Maybe you need hard-core relaxation—a massage, two bottles of wine, and a moratorium on telecommunications devices—or some soft-core porn? Some people swear by kinky role-play or a little risk to shake things up. Do whatever's required to get looser and happier, and the lovemaking will follow.