It's summer, and I must say that the heat and the sun and the backyard mosquito infestation are getting to be a real inconvenience to my sexyladyhood. As much as I try to work it, scabbiness is not so hot. Ditto greasy sunblock face and chafing thighs.
In such circumstances, resolute Churchillian action is necessary to maintain appropriate standards. I've devoted Saturday mornings to feminine maintenance—various polishing and waxing, procurement of new and fresh underthings, application of conditioners and masques and tanning agents. I shall fight at the Y; I shall go to the hairdresser; whatever the cost may be, I shall never surrender.
Mr. Young seems sanguine about being saddled with the children during these engagements. He spends a few hours at the park, and in exchange I'm less grouchy and more frisky in the gloaming. Still, my improved attitude doesn't always dovetail with opportunities for quality couple time. Scheduling time for oneself, however tricky it may be, is a cinch compared with scheduling time alone with the man—so necessary if he's to admire the results of the aforementioned buffing and plucking and thus find himself overcome with desire. And here we are at our question:
Q: I want to be intimate with my husband more often, but it's hard to find time together when we're not rushed or tired. Should we schedule sex?
A: Different stratagems work for different couples. Some folks actually agree on a "standing date"—say, every Saturday night, no matter what. The advantage of this approach is that, since you're both onboard, you can provide each other with positive reinforcement if you start to feel more sleepy than humpy. As an added bonus, anticipation of the planned lovemaking can be a turn-on in itself. Saturday afternoons take on a whole new tension, one unrelated to whether you're going to Lowe's again, as if there weren't sufficient supplies in the basement to build an ark. But I digress.
If you feel that picking a date with your spouse sucks all the spontaneity out of sex, select a date by yourself. He doesn't have to know that you've committed to putting the moves on him. And you can choose the moment that suits you—whether it's a weeknight when neither of you have work to do after the kids have gone down, or some weekend morning when the underage housemates go straight to cartoons, with no detour through your bed.
Alternately, you could just make your interest very clearly known and see what your fellow does with the information—an especially good tactic if you've got an old-fashioned kind of guy who likes to initiate things. One Mrs. I know says she gets her best action in the middle of the night, when her husband wakes her up for some love. That's what I call good time management!
