Mrs. Young is a great believer in passion, but let me admit (yet again) that long-term coupledom can be a grind, especially when you're also raising children. Before you know it, three weeks have passed since you last made love, and, frankly, all that groaning and tussling can seem like a lot of hassle. But when the bed stays unrumpled too long, it gets harder to summon the buoyancy, the easy joy that comes from being in love and getting laid. And without love, what is life but labor, and then death?
Faced with this scenario, I implore you not to ignore the convenient change agent between your legs. There's nothing as effective as sex for casting a rosy glow of mutual goodwill onto your twosome. Doing it frequently creates a reservoir of warmth and tolerance that's immensely helpful when you find the milk left out on the counter for the 19th time this month. Back in the fridge it goes; no need for divorce court—your sweetie may forget all about the dairy products as long as he remembers to get you off. And so to our question:
Q: My husband and I are only making love once or maybe twice a month. Is that weird?
A: Not weird—in a recent Cookie/AOL survey, 48 percent of our 60,0000-plus respondents said they had sex less than four times a month. Still, I think it would be prudent for you to get a bit more action going. Maybe the back-to-school spirit is getting to me, but I'm going to suggest a reading assignment and some homework.
First, check out two recent books about couples who decided to rejuvenate their marriages through frequent sex: 365 Nights: A Memoir of Intimacy (Berkley), by Charla Muller, and Just Do It: How One Couple Turned Off the TV and Turned On Their Sex Lives for 101 Days (No Excuses!) (Crown), by Douglas Brown. As the titles suggest, the Browns engaged in regular lovemaking for 101 days, while the Mullers signed on for a year of daily intimacy. A year! Both authors admit that the act got a bit robotic as time wore on, but the commitment was transformative for their relationships.
And now for the homework: I want each one of you reading this sentence—yes, you—to commit to having sex with your partner once a day for a week. Tell your mate in advance that this is the plan. Pick a week that ends before October 22 and when you don't have too many other engagements. Then go at it. You'll have the moral support of knowing that all across our great nation, other couples just like you, couples ravaged by the prime of life, are trying to get it on without waking up the kids.
When your week is over, you can go here to take a quick survey about your experience. By answering a couple of queries, you will automatically be entered to win a three-night trip for two, including airfare on Air Jamaica, to Jake's hotel in Jamaica. I expect the winner to make good use of those three extra nights.
if (typeof drawDropCap == "function") { var arrExcludeDivs = new Array("article_itemlist"); drawDropCap("articletext", arrExcludeDivs); }
