Ask the Crabbymom
At my personal blog, I'm getting loads of requests for my wisdom on things baby-related. I thought I'd answer one of them here:
Dear Crabmommy,
My friend is about to have a baby. Please can you advise me as to the absolute best, most memorable baby present? I just don't feel like getting her the My Breast Friend on her registry.
Thanks,
Pal of Almost-Due
Dear PoAD,
I can see how snapping up the boob paraphernalia might not thrill you. Fortunately Crabmommy has a better idea: Why not nix presents altogether? Let me guess, your pal is registered up the wazoo and her entire office is clubbing in to get her the jogging stroller. I say, forget the felt booties, the Tiffany rattle, the Petit Bateau onesies, the adorable minimalist-print sling from Herman Millerkids or whatevs. Nix it all. If you really want to give her the absolute best present, put your apron on and feed that hungry breastfeeding new mommy. Here are 2 suggestions:
banana bread
Nigella's recipe is heaven (if like me you are creeped out by raisins in your bb, leave them out). The secret of this one is a shot of Jamaican rum in the batter. Double the recipe and do 2 loaves. Boobmommy will inhale them pronto.
cinnamon rolls
A most excellent recipe is to be found here at Confessions of a Pioneerwoman. This chick is like the Cooks Illustrated for the Mommy world. And she doesn't do haute-gourmet stuff. She just does dang fine things like these rolls. And she takes lots of pictures of hot men rounding up cattle.
Okay, so you've baked your socks off. Now it's time to follow these directions very closely:
Deliver food to doorstep. Leave it with a note. In your note, swear you won't come and see the baby for at least 10 days. Knock, and go away. Now, that's friendship!
B bread plus the Baby Mix Me A Drink book noted on your personal blog do indeed the perfect gift make.
Let me get this straight--you are recommending baked goods that you bake yourself in an oven from ingredients that don't say Double Fudgey Goodness on the box. Whatever happened to the Little Pie Company? I'm sure they'd Fex Ex their sour cream apple pie to a hungry new mom anywhere in the country. Have you at last succumbed to the wholesome home cookin' ways of Uberbomberville? Say it ain't so!
Tmiaou, My God, you are right! I am Stepfordmommy!
Look, it doesn't happen often...but it's true that I do occasionally turn out the odd banana bread. But only occasionally. And, um, I can't say I've done it for too many new mom friends. Still, I like telling others to do it. Crabocrite --that's me.