This story is old. I was too embarrassed to blog about it at the time. But I'm feeling brave today and, in her blogocratic oath, Crabmommy swore she'd be able to make fun of herself and admit it when she was being a Momocrite (that mom who judges harshly but ends up doing what she swore she never would).

Okay, so you all know I loathe braggy parents who proudly tell you their kid is "very verbal." But, I admit it, Crabhubby and I think Crabtot is "very verbal." Though we've kept this info private, we've exchanged smug looks when, in her early twos, C-tot cottoned on to the word "pediatrician" and "stethoscope" from an Elmo Visits the Doctor DVD. (Okay, it was "steposcote" but that's still pretty darned multisyllabic.)

Tot's early interest in steposcotes went down quite well with her cardiologist Crabgrandpa. Then arose an extra opportunity to spread the word to another medical professional. When Tot developed pink eye some months ago, I hate to say it, but I sort of looked forward to the visit to the pediatrician. She's always been so healthy she hadn't had much opportunity to be examined by docs. That my child might refer to the pediatrician by her specialist's name—and then ask to look at the steposcote—struck me as a pleasant spin on the pink eye situation.

Unfortunately we were seen by a new pediatrician. She had a loud, twangy voice and referred to Crabtot as "Princess," a word Tot didn't know. Crabtot was silent and my fantasies of impressed physicians dissolved. In desperation, I went straight to that parental place I swore I'd never go to. "What's that?" Pushy Mom prompted as the doc approached with the steposcote. "A princess?" Tot replied.

I'm ashamed of this attempt to show off my child, when she was sick, no less! I couldn't even admit my intentions to Crabhusband. But I know he had similarly shameful expectations. "How was the pediatrician?" he asked. "What did she think of—I mean, how was the visit?"

"Not good. Dr. R wasn't in town."

Crabhusband looked disappointed when I recounted the princess story. We weren't pleased with the pediatrician. Even though she did, um, fix up our kid.

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