Lazy moms may find here my tips to ensure minimal exertion while entertaining the kids on these hot summer days. Or at least, that's my intention. I have plans to make this a regular column. But I can't promise anything. I mean, that would be absurd—a lazy mom promising to work hard on a column about laziness...I'm too lazy to even finish that sentence.

Let's see what I can muster for today's entry, from my position on the couch. 

Instant Magic Wand:

Is your tot into fairies? Does she desperately want a magic wand? Are you too lazy to make one? Are you too cheap to buy that one with the lights and the fairy voice-activation? Fret not—Crabmommy solves all.

Don't be intimidated by other moms with their gold foil and sequins at-the-ready in their Craft Boxes, fastening a perfect five-point felt star onto a slim branch perfectly whittled by Handy Dad. Don't despair if neither you nor your partner knows how to fashion anything out of anything. (Remember those other parents are losers in their own way too. You might envy that chick for being married to Handy Dad who made that super-cool swingset and that mini-shopfront, but rest assured, he's probably a secret drinker. I mean, he can't be that great can he?) Okay, er, back to the point.

Instant Magic Wand:

Step One:
Purchase a flyswatter. These come in a myriad of colors so you should have no problem finding one in your tot's color of choice. Flyswatters shouldn't cost more than a buck, so if you're a cheapmommy as well as a lazymommy, then—yay!

Step Two:
If you're not feeling industrious, under no circumstances should you dip the swatter-head in glitter-glue. Just wave the paddle shaped head in the air and say "Abracadabra! I wish for a magic wand." Then, look at what you're holding and say "Wow!" Presto! A magic wand has appeared for your fairy to treasure. And it's even orange!