can everyone please stop swimming! (part two)
Before summer, I wrote about my distaste for early tot swimming lessons. And I felt vindicated in my reluctance to sign up for Mommy&Me swim class when I learned the American Academy of Pediatricians disapproves of lessons for those under age four.
But summer has gone and I promised Crabhusband that come fall, I would enroll Crabtot and me in sessions at the local rec center. You see, we're spending Christmas in South Africa at Crabgrandma's, and my mom so happens to have an unfenceable swimming pool. Her whole house circulates around this water feature, complete with rocks, lush plants, and semi-treacherous decking. In short, Crabgrandma's pad is a Modernist's paradise, but a mom's nightmare.
I can hear you gasping. How could she take Crabtot to this place? Trust me, with the paranoia running through these parental veins (and the years spent in America, Land of Fear), I too have felt so panicked about this unfenceable pool that I've considered just going ahead and drowning myself in advance of the trip.
Either that, or, um, prep Tot with some lessons.
So I called the rec center. I really did. I would have signed up. Until I heard you had to queue at least two hours in advance for a spot you might not even get in a class that would be held in an apparently very cold pool in the coldest state in the union (after Alaska), infested with the most intensely athletic moms known to earth. I heard they deliberately make the water cold to teach children to deal with shock!
And suddenly I thought maybe it would be better to leave things as they are, with Tot only comfortable getting into the pool when Mom is around. No need for lessons to give her extra water-confidence. You see, she likes water when she's in my arms. And that's about the safest thing I can think of.
Of course, I have backup. I found this gadget, the Safety Turtle, a bracelet you attach to tots' wrists so if they ever touch water while your eye happens to be turned momentarily toward your cocktail, it sends a screeching alarm to a base control station, audible for up to 5000 miles...
So we're packing the turtle and the inflatable swimsuit. I'm hoping to leave the excess anxiety behind. We don't have room for it.
Or... you could send a few hundred bags of concrete out to Crabgrandmom's and fill the Pool of Fear in. Just for a while—for the duration of the visit—and then have it all dug out when you're safely back on the other side of the planet. Just a suggestion. I mean, you can't be TOO safe. Can you?
Got the link from Dor. Am currently rolling on the floor laughing as I wait for my 2 yr old to awaken so that I can take her to her swimming lessons... We have a fenced pool with net and a safety turtle, and yet I am still paranoid...The natural state of a mother (along with 'guilt-ridden'.) Love your blog! Adele
Dear Crabmom,
I think your suspicion of ice-cold pools is a good one. I got major butterflies at pools for decades after being subjected to weekly swim lessons in the icebergy, overchlorinated YMCA pool as a kid. Glad to hear Crabtot won't have to suffer through the same. Swimming with Crabmom and Crabgran in lovely South Africa sounds like the makings of some good memories and swim vibes.
I recenlty discovered a whole new level of baby swimming lessons c/o my younger brother. He and his wife were somehw approached when their son was hours old by an infantr swimming school. They were offered free classes for him in return for them allowing the school to use his "lessons" as a video teaching tool. At arond 5 weeks old he was into a special tub with a life ring around his neck and left to swim away. Once he got used to it he apparently did a few lengths but the whole set up is too weird to be believed. I will email it to you crabmommy as I think you may get a kick out of it.
Melissa, welcome and thank you for making me feel that taking Tot to Grandma's pool is something to feel good about. You know, sometimes one just has to go with the flow. Adele, so good to have you here. I totally connect with your paranoia vibes, believe me. Good lordy, neurosis flows like blood in my veins. So if I could have fence, safety turtle and actually also just go ahead and fill in my mom's pool (per Inky's suggestion), I would. (But then what would we do all summer?)
Bklynmom OMG, if only your bro would give us clearance to show that photo but of course I know he wouldn't. For it is quite weird, people. And we all know Cmommy would be airing the pic to examine the weirdness rather than marvel at the fact that this tiny infant can swim. How to describe: it's a pic of a kid sort of CORKED inside some kind of tube. Only the head pops out...Oh, but stay tuned my friends. Boy do I have a video for you.
Crabmommy,
Great decision on not going to the Y. I mean who wants to get into a icy pool with screaming babies (who by the way are wearing diapers in a pool) Yuk. South Africa sounds much nicer. Have fun!
Crabmommy,
Forgot to mention. My children are 10 & 8 years old. If saftey Turtle was around when they were little I would have had it. Instead I had my kids in enough saftey items, air filled arm bands, blow up ducks, air filled swim suits they could have floated to the moon. Instead they floated safely in the pool. Many peole will tell you that those items are not a good idea, they may hinder their ability to learn how to swim later. NOT TRUE. My kids swim like fish.
P.S. Love your blogs. M.C. is my lovely sister in law. I have put you in my favorites to keep in touch.
I'm sure she'll be fine! We do fear a lot here in America, don't we? I never thought of it that way!
Take lots of pictures!
And welcome, Heidi. And thanks for the swimming encouragement. Stay tuned for the next episode of that saga...coming soon!