three's a crowd
Both Daddy Underground and I have been plagued by birthday parties lately, so I decided to stagger the suffering and report on Crabtot's third birthday party two weeks after the fact.
I ignored birthdays one and two but decided three necessitated an official celebration with clots of tots infesting my mini-home. Naturally I dreaded pizza coating my floor and icing gooped onto furniture, but as parents we must make this annual sacrifice. Also the whole debacle would be good for blogging, right?
Actually, no. Because I hate to say it, but it went well. Probably because the adults were drunk. Somehow the children did not fully trash my house. They participated in my manic games (it was a dance party involving prizes for freezing into statues, making faces, and miming the motions of washing machines). They responded with gusto to my behind-the-couch Hello Kitty puppet show. 
Yes, I'm sorry to tell you Crabmommy was neither lazy nor whiny about this party, so I can't blog about it humorously. I just dang got out there, people, and did it! Some might say overdid it. I made puppets (okay, I glued pictures of HK and her weirdo pals onto popsicle sticks).
I even made Hello Kitty cupcakes, and hot damn if they weren't the finest things ever created. They tasted superlative too thanks to Nigella, the Domestic Goddess's ridiculously basic and divine cupcake recipe.
Before you boycott me, deciding I'm just too intimidatingly great and craftastic as a mom (she even makes wiener dogs out of tampons!), please note: I remain as selfish now as I was before. The cupcakes, people, they were all about me. Because I enjoy channeling several generations of neurotic ancestry through the tip of a gel icing tube. Especially to make Hello Kitty. Who was my childhood favorite (and, after liberal brainwashing on my part, is now Crabtot's too).
Also, don't be too appalled by my creative genius. The first round of decorating wasn't too hot, as you can see in cupcake number one, where Kitty looks like a spaniel:
Feel free to email me frantically for HK cupcake tips: crabmommy@gmail.com. For once, I am ubermother! Hear me rooooooaaaarrrrr!
Those are AWESOME cupcakes! Great job and thanks for making me feel bad about my own lack of cupcake talent!
*giggle*
And a puppet show? So now you're just TRYING to make the rest of us look bad!!!
Leann, I know. I messed up. I overachieved. And I feel bad about. Really I do. I have my rep to protect. And my job. So look for backlash-y posts to come, in which I detail some of my less Ubermommyesque moments. I still never told you about how I steal from Crabtot's piggy bank, did I?...
Well done my friend.
Although, I'm not sure how these Hello Kitties compare to my Yellow Submarine cupcakes. Who knew my two-year-old would love the fab four more than any other toddler on the planet?
I was so proud of the yellow icing, gummy saver and bendy straw dream treats... Luckily my grouchy ladybug never saw them before they hit the pavement on the way to daycare. That would have been a very bad start to year #2!
I do, however, have photographs to cherish and remind me of my culinary feat. Next year I'll make sure I'm the one hauling the load to the car instead of daddy dearest.
OMG, lizbeth that's a HORRENDOUS story. I absolutely adore the idea of cupcake yellow submarines. Would you be willing to email me a pic at crabmommyatgmaildotcom? We could showcase them here on Cmommy at Cookie (or at my personal blog if you prefer it that way?!). I feel these dead-before-their-time cupcakes need to be properly admired and revered. Fab four for a kid turning...4? Maybe I will steal the idea from you for the next Crabtot birthday. Yello sub cupcakes makes Hello Kitty ones look like... chopped liver. BThanks for sharing. Through sharing our tragedies we do grow stronger. Amen.
I'll dig out some photos and send them your way! Together our cupcakes will rule the pastry planet.
Lizbeth,
I must have them. Don't forget! I risked being picked up by all the spam robots in the world when I put my email address into that comments window for you. It's really meant to look like this to confuse the 'bots":
crabmommy at gmail dot com.
Please do send. I must see them. I MUST!
Very nice indeed!! Are those Darvocets you were using to decorate the HK cupcakes? Or Percodan? Either way, a fine strategy for making Crabtot birthday festivities more enjoyable for the grownups.
Inky, Hello Kitty's little bow/barrettes are made of little "Benadryl Bites," actually, a nice way of ensuring a mellow vibe at kids' parties. And now you know why it all went so smoothly!
Ah, excellent! I am also partial to 'Bit-o-Valium', but 'Good n' Soporific' will do in a pinch!