I will not smack or shout at Crabtot in 2008.
I will not be a momocrite.
I will stop mocking others.
I will stop complaining about motherhood.

Wait, then I'll be out of a job.

Scratch that. Anyway I'm too lazy to come up with self-improvement strategies. We all know it 'aint going to happen. Plus, I'm feeling too sleepy. In fact I'm on a deck chair. Beside a pool. It's hot. And I've been chasing after babies all day long. Not mine, but these: Yes, those are warthogs. We're on a totless safari! Crabtot is safely stashed with Crabgrandma in Cape Town and hubby and MIL and I are in the South African bush for three nights. Naturally I was dying to bring Crabtot. But, you know, the malaria. Also the kids around here aren't as friendly as the ones she knows. Some bullies in these parts: Obviously we were heartbroken to leave Crabtot behind, but heck, life is hard. And so is being on a luxury safari. In fact it's a lot like being a new breastfeeding mom: you're up at 5am and you're always eating. However, unlike the latter, the former has real perks. You can snooze by the pool all afternoon, and when the babies get boring you just drive on! And then someone hands you a cocktail! And the sunsets. I cannot possibly bring myself to write about an African sunset, or even to use the words "beautiful" and "African sunset" in one line, for that is an unforgivable cliché...

Of course, devoted parents that we are, we have managed to dial out on the bush telephone and find out how the tot is faring. Evidently she is none too happy with us for going on our Totbreak. In fact, we've been informed that on our return, Crabtot is going to lock us in the bathroom.

HNY to each of you lovelymommies! And here's to another year of motherhood: may we all continue to moan about our offspring at least as much as we adore them. Now that's what I call a worthy New Year's resolution!