Rude mommy! A new crabby column
I'd like to announce a new mini-column in this blog to replace Million Dollar Mommy. Some of you have asked for more of my genius mommy inventions (those nifty gadgets designed to make parenting easier), but I'm sorry to say my brain is empty. It was more or less empty to begin with. And now it's nothing but a hollow ringing void. Indeed, I think I've sadly given all I have to give to Million Dollar Mommy. But I have plenty to say on other matters. Such as mom etiquette.
It seems to me that having tots coincides, for many of us, with losing something in the process: our manners. Granted post-partum hormones and exhaustion probably play a role, but however we excuse it, I think we moms (dads too) need to brush up on our basic behavior. And since there are no books out there to tell us how to acquire such a skill set when it comes to this aspect of momming, Crabmommy wants to fill the gap. (If you see a Modern Moms' Guide to Etiquette by Jessica Seinfeld, people, just remember, you heard it here first!)
So let's get into it here, shall we? Please do send me your pet peeves or shameful admissions as moms. We all could use a lesson or two. And that includes me. My table manners, for one thing, are atrocious. But now I have Crabtot who can tell me to ask to be excused or not talk with my mouth full, and I'm appalled to note that everything I've taught her is everything I myself have entirely forgotten.
Please stay tuned for monthly highlights of this sort of behavior right here. We'll bash the boastful moms, the moms who don't RSVP to birthday party invites, the flakemommy who doesn't show up for the playdate, the mom who offers unsolicited advice on your kid's hair, the mom who's missing her sensitivity chip, and the mom who generally needs to stop and think before she offers you her wisdom without being asked.
Speaking of offering wisdom without being asked. Sheesh, I clearly need this guide. In a big way!
Suggested topics for this column?
Hi CrabMom- I think we should talk about CompetiMoms (as you said, boastful moms). It is something I am always ranting about on my own blog, parttimemommy.com.
My posting on the subject inspired a Today Show piece: http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/21693298/
I had a terrible potty mouth for 4 decades. Then the kid was born and lo and behold her very first word was sh*t. Ok, I'm kidding, it was dada. but it could easily have been sh*t, given the frequency with which she was exposed to the word. So I cleaned my mouth out with soap big time, but to this day the potty words still slip out. Fortunately, I have my very own 3-foot-tall vice squad to point out EACH AND EVERY potty word i say and give me a time out for my naughty behavior. Don't tell the kid, but when she's away, anything goes. And I revel in using f*ck and sh*t and all the rest of George Carlin's 7 dirty words as often as f*cking possible, much to the dismay and disapproval of the suburban moms around me. -First Feeding
I'd like to discuss the mother who told her child, in front of me, at the playground to not talk to me.
Because, well, I can't think of anything ruder than that.
As a former waitress, how about an article about the messes families leave behind at restaurants? Food mashed into chairs and carpet, and strewn about the place. I don't think it's too much to ask to at least help pick up the big pieces.
That restaurant thing is weird. We always pick up the food and have been seen on our hands and knees on the floor, grabbing what we can.
I hate it when my parents (when they're with us) tell us to leave it alone....no way!
Any contempt for Stagemommies? I just received an annoying email with a link to a tot's recent photo shoot.
OOH! This is good stuff, ladies. I mean, bad stuff. Mrs.Breeder, we need to hear that whole story. As for the messy kids in restaurant thing, DEFINITELY. Stagegmommies...ugh! Thanks, everyone. Taking notes.
Name calling. Yes, I counsel my 4 y/o son NOT to call others rude names. And, yes, I am the mom-o-crite driving all about town shouting Spanish cuss words at other drivers. Why was I so surprised when he began to call others a 'gilipollas' (d*ckhead/wanker) or simply shout out to them: 'joder!' (f*ck!)? To top it off, I proceeded to explain to him we only used such words while in the car. How lame is THAT?!
mamadehjh,
If d*ckhead had the swanky sound of the Spanish "gilipollas" I think we'd all be encouraging our children to say it with abandon! Frankly, there are just so many gilipollas out there in the world, living, driving, and parenting their tiny gilipollas...I am sure you're doing the wee boy a great service by teaching him how to recognize them. Brava!
How about moms that love for you to take care of their kids on playdates, but never return the favor. Urgh.
EXCELLENT topic, Jiminy. For sure that's a common mommy grumble!
one of my son's little friend's mom calls often asking if it would be okay for her son to come over for a play date, but she seems to always be too busy to host a play date at her house or they are really short. Sometimes I think she only wants a free babysitter...
Okay, still on the playdate topic. I hate naughty children and I actually had to tell my son we could not have two particular "little friends" at least for a while. They had no manners and didn't mind our rules. One of them kept saying, " I'm the guest. I can do whatever I want!" Initially I didn't say anything to their moms, but as they started asking for more playdates I eventually told them and by the way, neither seemed too concerned about their kids's bad behavior. Am I rude for saying "no"?