I'm lying on a bench at the playground. From the corner of my eye I see my daughter gesticulating at some kid. And he's gesticulating back. And they're looking tense. And one of them is climbing UP the slide! My body stiffens. UP the slide! If ever there's a playground no-no for me that's it. Because just think of all the things that can go wrong, the kids that can get hurt, the bad manners... And so on and so forth. But I'm not budging. Do I seem like I'm lazy? Actually, what I'm doing takes work. I am in fact trying very hard to resist a powerful urge to march over to the kids, observe, mediate, modify, and otherwise interfere with the business of child's play.   

I was never a mom who thought toddler and preschoolers should just "work it out" when they clash over a toy or treat each other badly. Like so many moms I have looked askance at those moms who hang back from their kids when they are rude or misbehaving. But, people, I've changed my tune. It's this book, A Nation of Wimps: The High Cost of Invasive Parenting, by psychologist Hara Estroff Marano. We've heard of "helicopter" parenting before, but this author takes the concept far further, suggesting that hovering over our children's every move and micro-managing everything they experience (she calls it "hothouse parenting") creates adults who can't take risks, handle stress, or in fact make any independent decisions. According to the author, even our economy might suffer the consequences of the parental hover. Freaky!

But I buy it. It's really a most compelling book, sourcing everyone from admissions counselors at Harvard to experts on ADHD. And having read it, I've vowed to change my ways. Not all of them. I'm not going to take Crabtot out of her weekly Chess Grand-mini-master classes or cut out the private pre-pre-K tutoring. I mean, I've got to get this child ready for school, gotta give her an edge. But I am going to stop hovering over her at the playground. I'm going to let her peers teach her a thing or two before I get in there to stop them. I know it won't be easy. But I'm going to try. So if you see me lying on a bench, hypermommies. don't look down on me. I'm working hard. I'm trying to perfect the art of imperfect mothering. In fact, I'm saving our future economy. Maybe even democracy itself. Read the book and you'll see.

I'll leave you with a quote: "The paradox of parenting is that the pressure to make it perfect can undermine the outcome." So kick back with me, chill. Let's not work so hard to make our kids perfect.  Let them work it out.