to strip or not to strip?
Ah, summer! At long last, here in the north and west of the USA, summer is upon us! And this means much completely obvious (and therefore, useless) parenting advice in mags and on the net about safety. Like when the American Academy of Pediatrics warns us to exercise extra caution when visiting large bodies of water. And I say, wow, really? Who knew the ocean could be dangerous!? Dumb summer-related advice aside, I'm thrilled that the season has at last made it here. 'Cuz to me summer is a time to GET NAKED!
I'm talking about kids here (as opposed to exposing my own less-than-perfectly-delectable bod to the harsh elements of scrutiny).
Crabtot is almost 4, and in our new city they have these glorious urban kiddie fountains. When we first visited, Crabtot was almost 3 and we came upon one of these fountains by accident. The minute she saw all the kids splashing and frolicking, she whipped off her clothes and sped into the water, tiny tush winking in the sunlight. I was pleased to see accepting smiles on the faces of the moms around me, for I believe that young children should be able to hit the beach or a public fountain in their birthday suits.
That said, there comes a time when they want to cover up, and everyone else wants them to too. If I had my way, Crabtot would spend another year "all nudie," as she calls it, but I realize she'll already stick out in the crowd if I let her hit the fountains in the nick this year. So I bring her a swimsuit for public swimming, but I encourage her to be naked in the shade in our little strip of back yard. As far as I'm concerned, nakedness is, well, natural, and a lovely thing to be enjoyed while a child is unselfconscious and innocent.
The longer I live in the US, the more I realize that in many ways we're an uptight and prudish culture. And you see it in the fact that so many people seem to disapprove of naked children. By discouraging bare bottoms, I think we're making them miss out on a feeling of freedom that they'll never regain as adults, when one actually has something that merits covering up...unless, of course, you go to Naturist resorts and let it all hang out (and if you do, more power to you, I say)!
I don't know what the cut-off is for socially acceptable nudity in children here on the west coast (I suspect it's later than that of the east) but I wish more people would let their kids go au naturel on beaches and at public fountains, at least while they're still in the pre-K years. I think more harm comes from teaching our tots to cover up than from letting them enjoy a few fleeting years of deliciously bare (but sun-blocked up the wazoo) skin. Okay, I can hear many of you chanting "What about child molesters?" but I figure the millions of pairs of parental uber-eagle eyes on all of our kids more than makes up for some perceived risk that child nudity courts child predators.
What do you think? Do you approve of the bare tiny heinie? Do you let your kids run around nekkid? If so, at what age do you think it's time to cover up?
Honestly, I think there are a lot of really pervy people out there who like to ogle naked little bodies with evil thoughts going through their heads. I don't want to encourage the truly deviant by putting naked children on display. My kids stay covered in public for their own safety.
We took our 4-year-old to a new public fountain and she did the same thing: stripped nekkid, had a great time until I noticed all the frowning adults and the kids either in swimsuits or their clothes. Austin, TX, is not as weird as I'd thought--not even tiny babies were nude. So now we always bring a swimsuit because *I* get uncomfortable having the only naked kid there.
At home, though, she's naked most of the time, especially now that it's really really friggin' hot. We've had to insist on clothes at dinnertime and when we go places, framing it as a polite thing to do rather than being about what other people will think.
It is really too bad when not just the "pervies" but the parents look at children in an adultish way rather than what they are: innocent children. Children are not publically in the nude as exhibitionists, especially when they are under 5. To believe that they are is really problematic. It is interesting that parents are okay with a young child being half naked in a bathing suit rather than fully naked just as long as the ?private parts? aren?t showing. Many people want to argue that we should "let children be children", but at the same time make them practice strict social etiquette as if they were adults. I'd have no problem with my child in a Splasher (diaper) only. (I am not so concerned with covering up as I am with sanitary issues?accidents happen.) Let her be innocent and free without fear of the Etiquette Police for a few years of her life.
I'm with you jwoods and tam: I think it's really the adults who ruin the innocence of the nudie-tots. And by adults I'm not talking about perverts. It's a fact that pedophiles tend to be people known to the child, not strangers. I'd bet that anyone ogling a naked child at a public fountain would be spotted by parents in a nanosecond and stoned on the spot. Do random perverts exist? Of course. But I don't think we should change the way we let our kids play over some abstract threat, especially when ever-watchful moms are present anyway. I also think that aside from the pervert issue, there's just this dominant culture of modesty, and it's really a shame...Why should kids be modest? If we tell them they need to be modest by covering up, were telling them their naked bodies are not innocent, and that they have something worth hiding. And so the pro-modesty approach actually brings up the very thing the prudes are trying to suppress: sexuality.