In lieu of the usual Million Dollar Mommy inventions that I test-drive on this blog, I've got a slightly different idea this month. Inspired by two recent articles, here, and here, I foresee great wads of cash to be made by someone in the summer camp business. Apparently so many parents, coast to coast, are going ballisto with grief when their kiddos go to camp, to the point where camps need to contend with parental separation anxiety as an occupational hazard. But it doesn't have to be a hazard; it can be a cash-cow! Seriously, someone crafty surely stands to profit this new trend of parents experiencing seasonal "kid-sickness." For example, here's a letter I'm working on to welcome parents to my imaginary summer camp...a camp for parents of soon-to-be summer campers.

Dear Campers,

We are super-excited to be welcoming you to Camp Kickapoo Lake. Congratulations on making the decision to take on a camp adventure! We are certain you will leave with new friends, fond memories, and most important, the skill set for which you came to us in the first place.

Camp Kickapoo is a smart choice for those moms and dads who need a little extra emotional preparation before their children go to summer camp. We realize that saying goodbye to your campers can be deeply challenging, but we are confident we can help you build the strength you need to face your child's camp experience with courage.

Program basics: Our unique three-night program comprises a condensed camp experience, and allows for a staggered transition from home life into a child-free camp environment. As such, a full family sleepover is permitted for the first night of camp, with child guests allowed onto the premises following Snack, at 3pm. On Day Two, family will not be permitted after Final Cuddle at 8pm. On your third and last night, you will be kid-free. We understand this may sound intimidating for those of you who haven't been separated from your children, ever, but we believe our compassionate environment (which includes a soundproof Safe Spot weeping room for private grieving) and professional parental counselors accredited by the ADP (Academy of Detachment Parenting) will provide you with the tools you need to make it through this tricky time.

Key strategies: Our curriculum is built around a series of partnered role play exercises designed to help you learn to say goodbye to your children each summer without breaking down and hurling yourself onto their duffel bags in embarrassing displays of cowardice. We offer parents a full range of supportive services and coping techniques, from mild encouragement (the green team), to full-on, hands-on Extreme Wimpout Redirection (the blue group). Role play exercises will be followed by a stimulating group brainstorm with the goal of isolating sample activities the parent might enjoy during his or her upcoming weeks or days of child-free time. We realize for many of you this time looms as a doom-filled black hole and that you haven't a clue how you could get through it! But we guarantee you'll leave camp with a minimum of ten Top Tips for Managing Your Freedom. Individual post-brainstorm counseling sessions are always available to help you tailor these tips to your individual needs. Remember: at Parents' Camp on the Kickapoo, the kitchen closes at midnight, but the counselor's door is always open—24 hours a day!

Orientation: Please read the attached yellow form provided by your orientation group leader and be sure to check off all items on your packing list. Important note: All communications devices must be checked on arrival, including cell phones. Please also understand that family photographs (even wallet-size) are not permitted except during Show 'n Share, which takes place each morning in the Jolie-Pitt Family  Gathering Sanctuary. We entreat you to leave all such images and other mementoes, such as report cards, in your cubbies. We appreciate your cooperation in this regard!

Edutainment and sporting activities: We value individual direction and decision-making in parents, and are delighted to offer a spectrum of free-choice activities to take place between scheduled workshops. Examples include PowerPoint presentations of your child's projected camp activities, special demonstrations of water safety, food safety, badminton safety, safety in safety demonstrations, and the importance of safely speaking about safety, which will take place in our Safety Circle Pavilion, a pleasant sponge-lined annex to the rear of the boat dock. Swimming, canoeing, and table tennis are also available, and our resident fitness instructor offers daily classes in Pilates, cardio-striptease, and Kundalini (Breath of Fire) yoga.

Rest assured that we at Camp Kickapoo are fully capable of facilitating your transition from pussy to proper parent in this three-night sleepaway. It won't be easy, but it can be fun, and if anyone can make a happy camper out of you, Camp Kickapoo can.

We look forward to seeing you all!

So that's my rough draft. I see a big-money concept here. Don'cha think?