All adults have moments when we wish we could be kids again, just as our kids often wish they were us.

For her part, Crabkid has begun to notice the many things grownups get to do that she doesn't get to do, but longs to do. Grownups can stay up late and argue loudly. Grownups are allowed to say, "for God's sake" and get to pick out every single part of their daily outfits every single day. Grownups don't have to sit on the Time Out chair when they've been rude or naughty, and they're allowed to eat standing up and put sugar into their drinks.

Crabkid, I know that doesn't sound fair, but it is. Because, you see, there are things kids get to do that grownups might want to do, but can't. Kids get to take naps, which you might not think is fun, but grownups think naps are really, really cool and fun. If grownups could, they would all be napping every afternoon, but as it so happens, only certain countries allow grownups to nap daily in the afternoon, and ours isn't one of them. Kids also get to run through sprinklers, and some even get to do it without their tops on. And even though grownups sometimes eat a piece of toast standing up, they'd really rather be sitting down, like you are, eating food that has been made for them by another grownup.

And even though you complain about riding in the grocery cart, Crabkid, this is the sort of thing that grownups would love to do if they could squeeze their chunky selves into the seat. In fact, I can think of many, many grownups who would love nothing more than to sit in that grocery seat noshing on a Fruit Roll-up and looking at all the colorful packaging out there while someone else fills the cart with the items on the list.

Crabkid, you know how you like my cell phone? Well you know what's funny? I hate my cell phone. I don't have as much fun talking on the phone as you do. Just as I don't get as excited as you do when I open those envelopes of bills with the see-through window in the front. And you know how you love love love going to the bank and watching the money come out of the slot and looking for that one nice bank teller who always waves at you with a lollipop in hand? Well, the weird thing is, you won't love the bank as much when you get to be a grownup. Unless, that is, you grow up to be much smarter than your mother and then when you go to the bank they will probably continue to wave at you with lollipops in hand and tell you how happy they are to see you.

Another thing: I know you hate sitting in your car seat and that you like to pretend you can drive, but guess what? Driving isn't really all that fun. That's why you might hear Mom and Dad using those words that kids aren't allowed to use and grownups can only use in the car. Driving is like having a birthday: much more thrilling when you're small.

Here's some good news: I'm glad to report that some things about being a grownup are (almost) as much fun for grownups as they are for kids. Like getting new shoes. New shoes are always nice. And it's always lovely to have an ice cream on a hot day, even when you're a grownup. And even though you can't pull your top off in public as often as you might like when you're an adult, you still, occasionally, get to go on a merry-go-round—that is, if you hang out with kids. Also, new stationery can be exciting even when you're a grownup: a sheet of fresh stamps and a blank notebook can make a grownup feel (momentarily) satisfied with life. And when the airplane takes off for a vacation destination—even grownups can get a kick out of that.

A last word about this adult business: as a grownup you can't really make bird noises in the street like a kid can. I mean, you can do it, but other grownups won't smile at you and in fact they may even ask you to stop. That's how grownups are; they will only smile at people making loud bird noises if those people are not other grownups. However, you will be pleased to know that grownups are still allowed to hop. When you are a grownup hopping, people might not smile at you, but I'm happy to confirm that if you feel like doing it, you're allowed to hop anyway.