I came across this news tidbit the other day: Parents today don't know any nursery rhymes. Instead, they lull their little 'uns to sleep with pop tunes.

That's too bad, because nursery rhymes are so freakin' subversive. Let's take a look.

Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater: One of my faves, 'cause it's about sex. Origin: Colonial America, where "pumpkin" was slang for a woman's "stuff." Kinda cute, until your 3-year-old starts yelling about pumpkin eaters, and having read this post, you suddenly know what they're talking about. Oh and "pumpkin shell" apparently refers to chastity belts. Yeesh.

Mary Mary Quite Contrary:  At first reading, a sweet little ditty about a sweet little girl frolicking amongst flowers. But dig deeper and it's all about intolerance, torture and murder.

The Mary alluded to in this traditional English nursery rhyme is reputed to be Mary Tudor, or Bloody Mary, who was the daughter of King Henry VIII. Queen Mary was a staunch Catholic and the garden referred to is an allusion to graveyards which were increasing in size with those who dared to continue to adhere to the Protestant faith -- Protestant martyrs.

In keeping with the theme, the silver bells and cockle shells were slang for instruments of torture, and the pretty maids referred to the maiden, which was a Scottish beta version of the guillotine.

And you thought "Oz" was kid-inappropriate!

Baa Baa Black Sheep: 13th century rhyme relating to the king's tax on wool. 1/3 to master (lord); 1/3 to dame (church); 1/3 to little boy (farmer). Here's something fun I came across: In the name of political correctness, toddlers in Oxfordshire, England, are being taught to sing

"Baa baa, rainbow sheep."

So it doesn't have that same alliterative ring. And ignores the actual meaning of the rhyme. Nobody can find fault with a rainbow!

Jack and Jill: Purported to be King Louis XIV of France, who was beheaded (lost his crown) followed by Queen Marie "let them eat cake" Antoinette (whose head "came tumbling after"). Nice!

Humpty Dumpty: Referred to a large cannon used during a siege in the English civil war in the 17th century. A shot from a Parliamentary cannon destroyed the wall holding up Humpty Dumpty, which fell to the ground and smashed into a million, unfixable pieces. The end.

OOOOO. I just love nursery rhymes. Sing for me, Barney!