A weekly roundup of news in parentville, including the good, the bad, and the utterly trivial.

I was torn this week between a food theme and an animals theme, then I was reminded that this is a parenting magazine, fer cryin' out loud, so why not a kids theme? But I couldn't find anything so I gave up and ate two Godiva chocolates out of frustration and food won.

Yes, I'm still here!  Had I been allergic to nuts, however, and eaten a couple of Death by Chocolate cookies, I may not be. The manufacturer apparently forget to disclose the presence of walnuts in their cookies. I guess they figured their brand name was warning enough.

Food is dangerous. Want more proof? A husband was arrested for beaning his wife in the head with an onion. He admitted he threw it at her, but didn't mean to hit her, just to make her eyes water from its proximity, I guess. It must have been a big onion too, like a Vidalia, as opposed to, say, a pearl onion, because the wife told police it "made her head hurt."

Another bad move: driving while eating cereal (a.k.a. DWEC). That's what a London driver was doing when he lost control of his car along a highway on-ramp, careening through a grass median and jumping into traffic, causing a three-car collision. No one was injured, thank goodness, although Coco Shreddies were everywhere.

Sometimes, though, even stupid people get lucky. Bryan Rocco was cramming onion rings in his mouth while driving somewhere in New Jersey when he choked on a ring and passed out. His car swerved across the road and crashed into a tree. The air bag blew up and gave Bryan an impromptu Heimlich maneuver, dislodging the onion ring and saving his life.

California teens may still eat behind the wheel but they've gotta lay off the electronic devices. The Golden State is telling teens, dnt txt r tlk n drv. Close to half of all teenagers admit to texting while driving, and you've got to assume they all DWY (drive while yakking).

One last bad idea for the road: wearing rubber boots. Here's how it works. You're a young guy on a motorbike -- Ante Djinidjic of Croatia, to be exact -- wearing your rubber biking boots, when nature calls. The next thing you know, a million volts of electricity shoot down from the sky, like this:

Doctors said the lightning went through my body and because I was wearing rubber boots it earthed itself through my penis.

You'll be relieved to know that Ante's penis will be okay, "eventually."