DNA Dating Service
Looking for the perfect mate? Waste not a moment longer with unscientific techniques like drunken office holiday parties and online dating services. Instead, head straight to ScientificMatch.com, whose "patent pending technology"
uses your DNA to find others with a natural odor you'll love, with whom you'd have healthier children, a more satisfying sex life, and more.
For a bargain basement rate of $1,995 (hey, we're talking scientifically proven love here, people!), the company says it will analyze immune system genes to identify compatible mates. Because ...
Nature attracts us to our genetic matches with our noses. The fact is, we love how other people smell when their immune systems are different from ours -- they smell sexier.
According to a press release, the company is a one-man-with-a-vision operation headed by Eric Holzle, a Northeastern University
graduate. Holzle told the Boston Globe that every source confirming his company's claims "meets the gold standard of scientific research."
So there you have it. I don't know about you, but I'm a believer. As they say, the nose knows.
But if for some unfathomable reason things don't work out on the simpatico smell front -- and you're still stuck with the same old smelly husband -- you could also try eliminating his body odor altogether with Nullo. It's a small pill taken twice a day by the offending object that neutralizes stinky pits, feet, private parts, morning breath, and whatever other objectionable smells your husband wafts forth. It even works on the dog -- it's that strong. And it's just $26.95 for a one month supply for both husband and pooch. So what if you and your mate are odorifically incompatible. Now that you've got Nullo, you just don't care!
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