Couples of the Week
Feeling like your relationship is a bit rocky these days? It could always be worse...
Consider, for instance, First Feeding's three candidates for Couple of the Week.
1. The Jenkins: "Joe" Jenkins and his wife, Candida, had a fight in the car. He got out and started walking away. Candida was furious. How dare he walk away from her! So she revved up the engine and ran him over. Much to her chagrin, "Joe" survived the attack. She had the last laugh, though, because now the whole world knows that her husband's actual given name is King Money Tarzan Jenkins.
2. The Fifes: Jason Michael Fife found out his wife was having an affair. He was infuriated. What to do?
Mr. Fife thought and thought and thought. Then he remembered that scene from "The Godfather." Brilliant! He got a cow's head from a butcher shop, claiming he wanted the dried skull for decoration. Instead, he mailed the head to the lover. He sent it frozen so as not to alarm the post office. The box became bloody after sitting on the lover's doorstep on a warm day. By way of explanation, Jason's lawyer said his client
understands that in a civilized society a person cannot send a severed cow's head to anybody.
Jason was arrested and got two years probation for his stunt. He and his wife later reconciled. They deserve each other, don't you think?
3. An Unnamed Polish Couple-No-More: After 14 years of marriage, sex with the wife can get pretty dull. So a Warsaw man decided to spice up his sex life with a visit to a local brothel. Much to his surprise, he found his own wife there spicing up the sex lives of other men. He had this to say about his discovery:
I was dumbfounded. I thought I was dreaming.
The couple is getting a divorce. In case there was any question...
Comments