In theory, taking a vacation with the extended family sounds idyllic. It can, however, become stressful if not planned properly. To that end, I have only two words: separate houses. We just came back from one of our best vacations in Nantucket. My partner, Fred, our 4-year-old daughter, Vivi, and I spent a week with Fred's sister and brother and their families. All in all, there were six adults, eight kids, and two houses.

The "cottage" we found online ended up having a lot more space than we expected. So every morning, the three of us had a quiet breakfast at our house (or an indulgent meal at Downyflake) before meeting up with the other families for a few hours on the beach. Then it was back to our house for a little unwinding—counting the shells we collected, a Bob Marley sing-along—and dinner before heading over to my in-laws' house for after-dinner drinks. The adults took over the front porch, the kids had free rein of the house and TV, and everyone was happy. Whereas Vivi couldn't believe that she was allowed to watch SpongeBob at night, eat candy after dinner, and run around the yard in the dark, Fred and I secretly enjoyed the fact that we got to leave the craziness of seven kids at the end of the night to go back to our quiet cottage, tuck in our exhausted daughter, and listen to the crashing waves. The solitude lulled us to sleep so that we could wake up and do it all over again the next day.