This Quiz/Poll (What kind of dad) is Inactive. Sorry!
Results for What kind of dad are you?
You're at the park on a Saturday morning, and a bunch of mothers are there. You:
32.02%
Rank them in order of hotness and wonder if in an alternate reality they would be into you.
19.03%
Get on your cell phone and start makin' deals—'cause every day's a work day, and you're muy importante.
48.94%
You mean Patti, Natasha, and Heather?
Given an hour of free time on a weekend, you:
25.08%
Meditate. Who are you kidding—download porn!
21.75%
Head to the office to fax that brief to Steve, then swing by the gym for a few bench presses.
53.17%
You mean free, really free? I could take the kids wherever I want?
Mom is out for the night, and you're putting the kids to bed. When she gets home, she can expect to find:
37.46%
Kids crashed out on top of their covers in seasonally wrong pajamas with a light dusting of Cheetos covering 90 percent of their bodies.
17.22%
You, looking shell-shocked and pissed.
45.32%
You, passed out in front of John and Kate Plus 8.
You're in charge of dinner tonight. What are you having?
39.88%
Well, I had In-and-Out for lunch, so ... I guess Subway?
34.44%
A dish that involves trips to a boulangerie and a charcuterie, a new and obscure cooking tool, and a reduction of some kind.
25.68%
Why? Is it Valentine's Day? Mother's Day? Our anniversary? I am so busted.
The kids want Daddy to read a book tonight. A likely choice:
49.55%
You don't read stories ... You tell them! With props. And food. And fire!
19.94%
Freakonomics.
30.51%
Mommy does books. Daddy does dishes.
Your favorite parental duty is:
45.92%
Duty. Heh heh. You said "duty."
39.58%
Contributing to the 529 plan. So satisfying.
14.5%
Donning the sympathy nursing bra. It's actually pretty comfortable.
The first thing you do when you come home from work is:
54.38%
Take off my pants and free-ball alone in the bedroom for a few minutes.
29.61%
Open the mail, check Consumer Reports online, suit up for the elliptical machine.
16.01%
Poke your head into your mother-in-law's room to see if she'll be home for dinner.
What is one thing you'd like your child to inherit from you?
42.3%
The perfectly pitched (and highly controlled) passing of gas.
38.37%
The ability to speed-read The Wall Street Journal.
19.34%
Your wipes warmer.
Your child calls you into the bathroom because there's a cricket in the tub. You:
22.66%
Leave it. Bugs are kind of cool to have around.
6.04%
Call Terminix.
71.3%
Kill it, flush it, and hope the kids keep mum that you didn't catch and release.
What makes you angry?
51.36%
When you can't find a decent pair of socks to wear and the cable's out.
24.47%
McCain's health-care policy.
24.17%
Angry? Why would I be angry? Because I was sent to Target to buy more cocktail napkins for the Super Bowl party during the Super Bowl party? Why would that make me angry?
Your wife asks you to attend the birthday party of one of your child's friends. You:
48.34%
Hope it's at Chuck E. Cheese so you can get a large fountain drink and go for the high score on Galaga.
32.63%
Get excited to show off your new digital camera.
19.03%
Slowly get up and put on the clown suit. You'll be glad when this phase is over.
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