I mentioned in my debut column that I'm no spring chicken, yes? Let's put it this way: I'm old enough to remember Eddie Munster and to know that I do not, under any circumstances, want to look like him.
Yet here I am, with a do closely resembling that of the beloved '70s television character. Following a bout of postpartum hair loss—and subsequent regrowth—I'm currently sporting inch-long clumps in the temple area.
In other words, instead of my once-normal hairline, I now have a scareline. And for someone who spent the entire '90s trying to imitate the late, great Carolyn Bessette, the fact that I can't scrape my locks into a decent bun is killing me.
Despite my angst, however, here's what I'm not going to do: Get bangs. As a WOFTM (Way Older First-Time Mom), I'll admit the temptation was pretty strong; in theory, bangs could hide looming wrinkles in my (honestly, seriously, can't-believe-I-haven't-succumbed-yet) un-Botoxed forehead and obscure the heinous temple clumps at the same time.
So I was all set to take the big bang plunge until I parked myself in front of my longtime hair guru, the crazy-handsome Gotham-based salon owner Anthony Gianzero.
"First of all, I hate bangs," he says. All righty. "I know women are always trying to mix things up after they give birth—it's a hormone thing—but bangs are pretty radical. You can have long hair and just cut bangs into it, and it's a totally different style."
Now he's on a roll. "This is a huuuuuuuge pet peeve of mine," says Gianzero. "Especially right after pregnancy. Most women have fuller faces in the first few months after giving birth. So here are all these women with bangs and big fat faces—huge mistake."
Although I'm happily past the "big fat face" stage, I've got my own dilemma: If I cut bangs over my temple clumps, the undergrowth would poke through, sending the bangs skittering off in a million directions. "As it grows," says Gianzero, "that hair underneath will stick straight out."
His Rx for fixing my scareline? Work some type of maximum-hold hair product into the temple clumps, blend them in with the rest of my hair, and get on with my life.
On the left coast, Beverly Hills salon owner Kim Vo agrees that the postbaby bang-chop is a no-no. And while he recently developed a new type of super-lightweight "micro" hair extensions that are great for plumping up skimpy locks, they aren't ideal for remedying a scareline. "They're best for adding a little overall thickness, so my new-mom clients don't freak when their hair starts to fall out," says Vo. "Or they can be used as highlights. But at the hairline, no."
Not that Vo doesn't sympathize with our new-mom beauty plight. "Those little hairs are the worst—they're pure fuzz," he says. "Sometimes I highlight them to help them blend in."
He has a few DIY suggestions, too: "You can use a smidge of hairspray and a little round brush—they make them in a half-inch diameter," says Vo. And in areas of the country with high humidity, antifrizz brews are also a good idea.
you can do this
If you're starting from scratch with wet, freshly washed hair, work some gel (and/or an antihumidity potion) into the temple clumps. Using the teensy brush as an anchor and a guide, blow-dry the wisps, then whack 'em with a little hairspray. If your hair is already dry, you can either spray a bit of H2O at the temple clumps and repeat the above scenario, or jump right to the part about the brush and take it from there.
but also try
A deep side part—especially if your hair is long, like mine. That way, at least one temple clump will be safely under wraps.
stuff that helps
Half-inch brushes aren't popping out of the woodwork, but Helen of Troy makes a combination curling iron–brush in this size that, unplugged, does the trick. Antihumidity hairsprays, which block frizz while keeping stray wisps in line, are easier to come by: Pantene Pro-V Restoratives Frizz Control Anti-Humidity Hairspray ($5, Pantene for store locations), and KMS California FlatOut Anti-Humidity Seal.
