So now ... the planning. First off, come to terms with the fact that the park is always crowded. But some times of year are better than others: According to the Birnbaum Guides (the must-have Disney guidebook), the park is most packed during Christmas, Easter, and summer vacations; Saturdays year-round; and Mondays and Fridays in summer, so avoid those days if you can. Once inside the park, the crowds are thinner on attractions like the Disneyland Railroad, the charmingly retro Enchanted Tiki Room, and the Haunted Mansion. As for where to stay and eat, there are plenty of options—and some are even pretty swanky.
WHERE TO STAY
Go old-school or new-school, but definitely stay at one of the official Disneyland hotels for convenience's sake (on most days, guests can enter the park an hour before the public). To book either hotel, visit Disneyland.com.
Disneyland Hotel
This 1955 hotel promises its guests "classic Disney charm"—which is accurate, if your definition of charm is generous. Of course, my son couldn't have cared less about the outdated decor and went crazy for the waterslides at the hotel's 5,000-square-foot pool complete with a pirate ship. From $260 a night for a standard room that accommodates four people.
Grand Californian Hotel & Spa
I wish we had splurged on this newer, more luxurious option. Exquisitely designed to resemble the grand national-park lodges built at the turn of the 20th century and appointed in the arts-and-crafts style, it has a cavernous lobby with a fireplace and a piano, three pools, and two whirlpools. And did I mention the spa? From $360 a night for a standard room that accommodates up to four people.
WHERE TO EAT
We tried the three Disney restaurants that took reservations, figuring they would offer something special. For reservations at any of them, call (714) 781-3463.
Blue Bayou
On a terrace overlooking the bayou of the Pirates of the Caribbean ride, this shadowy lunchtime retreat is lit almost entirely by "fireflies" and "stars" that twinkle above live-oak trees. While the New Orleans-inspired food was so-so, the mellow atmosphere provided a much-needed break from the crowds and the oppressive heat.
Goofy's Kitchen
If you're the kind of mother who goes into conniptions should high-fructose corn syrup cross your child's lips, do not go to Goofy's Kitchen, one of the park's several "character restaurants." If, on the other hand, you can suppress your nutritional edicts for an hour or so, you will see your child enter a state of nirvana, as I did when my son discovered the buffet of cakes, frozen yogurt, Mickey-shaped waffles, crème brulée French toast, hot dogs, and peanut-butter-and-jelly pizza (that's not a typo). As my son dug into a bowl of "worms in dirt" (crushed chocolate cookies with gummy worms), Alice in Wonderland stopped by our table, introducing herself in a squeaky voice that alarmed my son and delighted my daughter.
Grand Californian's Napa Rose
Bless its soul, this oasis of calm and civility takes the needs of both adults and children seriously. The list of wines was extensive; my son, meanwhile, could choose from the impressive kids' menu, which included a petite filet of prime beef, an oak-roasted quesadilla, and a free-range chicken breast. Our kind waiter cooed at my daughter and seemed to think it was charming when my son mixed ketchup into his vanilla ice cream to see if it would turn pink (it did). Was the meal expensive? Yes. Was it worth it to feel catered to and slightly buzzed before heading back to our room for a bath and bedtime? Absolutely.
